Orlando, FL 2009: Is it the bright colors? The cool buttons? The restful mindlessness of it all? Whatever it is, parents need to reverse and squash the trend whereby their kids (and others) take back seats to this unrestrained monster with a vice grip on hearts and minds.
From Trent Ling
Dinner with the family… Out for ice cream with the kids… Vacationing with the peeps… Sitting at a red light with passengers aboard… The punch line? The saddest of post-scripts: … on the phone!
Unabashed, parents and children spend time together… each on their own phones!
How better to announce a zero regard for each other? Why not just confess to the family that while taking a pass on cocaine, no celebration warrants because of this incessant snorting of phone all-day, every day?
Deep down, all know that whatever we do, we should do it with all of our hearts. Colossians 3:23. Unfortunately, everything done by most comes slathered with needless, distractive “phonal” activities. While cutting back on salt, sugar, and caffeine, folks must go further and eliminate their phones from all but strictly private, quarantined usage. Nothing interrupts, divides, distracts, and thumbs the nose at “loved ones” more than a slobbering, insatiable appetite for gadgetry. It demonstrates and reveals the dynamics of an emptying life, blown about and lured by amusements, short of the requisite heart and mind that would make sensible and respectable discernments.
Where does this love of phone leave the kids? On their own as usual, left to follow a horrible example and/or left to soldier on their own starting smack dab in the midst of clueless and negligent parenting, a brutally lifeless desert of sorts.
Look at your phone. Give it a shrewd, watchful eye. Loathe it. Exorcise it. Yes, to its useful extent and at the proper time, put it to work. But nobody hanging out with others, fiddling with the phone, can plausibly make any case for the existence of any self-control, self-awareness, care, or respect.
Some will claim never to have been told this before. WOW! Others have heard and already rebuffed such advice. DOUBLE WOW!
Our genetics and our callings contemplate big things. If we cannot, and/or will not, tell our phones to sit, lie down, and roll over (thereby rendering them to their proper places), then true humility from stark reality (falling from our destiny of big things to a reality spent on measly things) should bring a flow of grace with enough awakening to rid ourselves of any and all dragons, not the least of which would be the omnipresent, metallic appendage of neo-addicts.
This must be fixed before something even goofier plagues us. What next, televisions in our bedrooms? Or worse yet, in our cars? Oh wait…
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I’ve been guilty of this! Fortunately not too often (1 Cor 4:4) but I have asked my children and/or wife to wait a moment while I completed a text conversation. I can feel the inappropriateness of such actions when partaking in such silliness. The sad thing about this posting is “even the world knows this”. I’ve had various people in casual conversation mention this to me. It is so common to see this occur at restaurants, movies, ballgames, etc. I see no end in site as more and more people get smart-phones and more and more people are handed over to their devices (Romans 1:18-32). It’s interesting how most men say “I am my own Man” and yet they’re owned by their phone (Psalm 94:8). May we all wake up and recall this web posting every time our phone has something to say. Amen!
Without life in the Kingdom and this teaching from the ministry, I’d be in my phone while with friends just because we had nothing to talk about; would be weird looking quiet, so better be looking at my phone! That’s just boring, cold, and unloving! Amen for the superior way offered by you in this ministry! Thank you and love you!
I completely agree. There is a big difference between “being there” and “being together”. A parent can be there physically but totally absent from the child’s emotional arena. Unfortunately, the “technologically absentee parent” falls in the trap of believing they are there for their child but they really aren’t.
As parents we have to “create a sense of presence” in our household. The catch is that a sense of presence is a matter of perception. In other words, we need to know what our children enjoy and then we have to get involved in the things that our children perceive as meaningful (sports, a TV program, a hobby, going window shopping, etc.) so that they can feel that we really care.
But more important, we have to be aware of the child’s emotional/spiritual /mental thermometer in order to offer them guidance, support, and teach them how things work in Kingdom. Only by making our interaction with them purposeful and meaningful will we be able to create the deep roots of love and affection that will last a life time.
We can not possibly achieve this if we are part of the “technologically absentee parent club”.
We have to learn from our Heavenly Father…
O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit or stand. When far away, you know my every thought. You chart the path ahead of me, and tell me where to stop and rest. Every moment you know where I am. You know what I am going to say before I even say it. You both precede and follow me, and place your hand of blessing on my head.”
Psalms 139: 1-5
Love you,
Mel
What’s better than having all your attention on the people you are with, right? Unless you have a SELF CONTROL you will end up controlled by the devices you own! I know some people who carry more than one phone in their pockets and purses. True, some might say this one is my business phone, bla… bla… you can make all kind of excuses, just give your kids your full attention when you’re with them instead of your phones!! The worst is people who’re driving with kids in the car and texting! Really? it’s bad enough answering the calls while driving, it’s an addiction. I just have to say that 🙂 Great letter. Hope it will prompt people to think about putting their phones away while with their family 🙂
Oh Man! Beautiful! Humbling! I love it!
During our daughters recital we noticed a man who had his phone about 10 inches from his face, in the dark, during the shows, reading his email. Having no clue is so common – I know.
Other things to teach our phones: fly! or swim! (If you can’t grow up – I know.)
Father may I never have a speck of life in my heart, mind, soul, and strength – that thinks any phone requires anymore attention then a dead love-bug on my windshield.
Love you